Week Thirty Three & Thirty Four
I’ve not been entirely sure where to start with this blog entry; I’ve felt incredibly exhausted and blurry after the VARC 10th celebrations. It has taken almost a week to recover. I do not think I have ever experienced such tiredness, hence the delay in bloooogy blog. Last weekend had quite an impact on me on various levels, a bit of a roller coaster ride of emotions, questions, inspirations, self-doubts, compliments, anxieties, hard work and enjoyment. All the past nine artists were invited to either install an artwork or participate in presenting workshops. They were also invited to collaborate with another artist of their choice. The event was a great success. We were blessed with fine weather and a fantastic atmosphere. It was a unique occasion where the artists, local community, the advocates and hosts of the residency, all came together under one glorious barn roof, to celebrate this amazing artist residency that VARC offers. 
(Susan Grant) The qualities of the artworks were inspiring and I felt privileged to be part of this celebration. However as my work is still ‘in progress’, I also felt slightly ‘exposed’, akin to the sensation of being half dressed and not quite ready for an audience. To some extent I was slightly daunted and unnerved by the quality of my fellow artist in residents, but on the other hand I was also stimulated and enlightened by the endless possibilities and directions artworks can take. For me the most inspiring artwork was by Susan Grant and Adrian Lear, a site specific installation using light, sound, found objects and sculpture...all in a corrugated dilapidated shed. It is known as the ‘shooting shed’, I’ve photographed it many times and appears in the ‘Jilly Goes North’ film. Susan and Adrian cleared out all the sheep poo from the shed and laid down exquisite parquet flooring, then installed various chairs inside with a central pit of sand, on which images were projected. 
This all looked absolutely fabulous. But the crème de la crème of this piece was to then gold leaf the outside of the shed over the duration of the weekend. I suppose one could say only an artist would think of gold leafing an iron corrugated shed…I say….thank the lord then there are artists! It looked incredible…it still does. Out on the wild moor lands of Highgreen stands one gold shed, which either glistens in the sunlight or stands out in stark contrast to the looming grey skies, the wind gently caresses the fine film of gold, and in places, it moves to the song of the breeze, gently flapping in unison with its surroundings. 
(Karen Rann) 
(Bridget Kennedy) Approximately twelve artworks and a variety of workshops were dotted around the complex of buildings, and near surrounding landscape for people to get involved in or just enjoy. Artists that I regarded highly and particularly want to mention are: Karen Rann, working with Helen Goodwin. Their work was an evolving piece that changed daily. Using large quantities of fleece or rolls of black plastic (found on farms), they interacted with the landscape, tracing paths, making shapes, wrapping themselves and a myriad of other happenings to produce a series of documenting photographs. I really enjoyed the direct inspiration of using the landscape.
(Nigel Morgan) Bridget Kennedy’s ‘Black Middens’ project, a digital animation was presented superbly with stunning visuals and incredible sound. The lovely Imi Maufe with a roving interactive workshop involving raffle tickets, and a packet of midges to win was a delight for all. In the most beautiful barn here at Highgreen, Nigel Morgan recreated an installation using wood and leaves that he made for his final show when he did his residency in 2004. 
And finally some amazing sheep sculptures by Sally Matthews, although late at night they became a bit too spooky for my liking. (Linda Gordon) 
(Sally Matthews) 
Steve was with me all week filming for our film that we are making. He worked incredibly hard long hours. Under the blazing skies he rushed around everywhere, filming and doing time lapses of various artworks under construction. He created a fantastic sequence of the ‘golden shed’, got beautiful footage of the barn dance in the evening, some great interviews and some beautifully backlit wildlife. The five-minute promo that Steve produced for our film was also being shown as part of the artworks on display, he received lots of compliments and acknowledgement for this. And on top of all this greatness, he had to deal with a slightly stressed and slightly wobbly Jilly at times, and a dinner of congealed rice pudding. Thank you Steve for your patience, support and excellent humour. 
It has been really exciting to watch all the artworks in various locations grow. It has also made me reflect on the importance of presentation and its effects. The consequence of this celebration has made me stop and think, in some respects, this celebration was a weird interruption to my residency, but it was also an opportunity to participate in an amazing experience. It also is an ideal marker to consider my own obstacles and push my boundaries of my own creative practice further. It has really made me focus on what is achievable, what I need to contemplate, and what directions I need to take to complete pieces for my show in September. 
It has also made me question what kind of artist do I really want to be, and for me, this is where the problem lies, I am not entirely sure yet. Personally I thought my work looked oddly different next to all the ‘ finished installations’, and I had to keep reminding myself that it was still ‘work in progress’, and the pieces shown will be presented differently later on. However if I am honest, this made me feel uncomfortable, or more to the point, slightly ‘insecure’. I do know, I have to not only have faith in myself, but also begin to trust in the decisions that I now have to take. These are all healthy questions that I am asking myself…the insecurity….well, that’s just plain old fear, and yes, at times I need to get a handle on this. When I decided that I would write a blog about my experience of being an artist in residency, I wanted it to be an honest reflection; therefore I am admitting that at times I find it really difficult, and at times the confidence levels fall. To date this is the hardest blog entry I’ve written; I am still processing all my thoughts. It is taking me a while to get my head around everything; I’ve now managed to get my head above the ‘insecurity’ waters that I had to tread for a few days, and have allowed myself some time off from the studio to contemplate. I also need to accept and embrace that I did receive lots of compliments and have even potentially sold a drawing. It is about time I started having faith in myself as an artist, surely if I don’t believe in myself, then why should others. Get a grip Jilly! 
Having got used to only a few people locally and lots of solitary time here, it was quite exhausting with the sudden rise in numbers of people (a couple of hundred over the weekend), and the whirlwind of activity that transpired. However on a personal level, one of the nicest parts of the weekend was having time with Imi Maufe, a much-loved friend whom now lives in Norway. She encouraged me to do this residency in the first place, and had a fantastic time herself when she did this residency a couple of years ago. Thanks to Janet Ross for organising the event so well and looking after everyone. An extremely thought provoking, enjoyable, stimulating, exciting, and slightly wobbly and exhausting two weeks. Week 33 and 34 done! (Jilly Pictures - 1. 'Eight Fold Path' 2. 'Road of Bones' 3.Jilly Studio display 4. 'Pencil Graveyard' 5. 'Walking...Priceless' 6. Studio Dispaly 7. 'On The Road'