Week Twenty
“Bone under the flesh of soil in the body of the earth…the earth lives as we do, elastic, plastic, vulnerable…stone is self…all places are marked on us and we have a map of that place engraved on our soul” Michelle Stuart The unpredictable weather makes me readjust my visual map everyday. I have been amused that the recent snowfall has been, well… below par, and not the high quality that I have become accustomed to. 
Past snow has been crisp, dry, white and glistening, and not this wet slushy grey type that is now appearing. It has, I admit, been a particularly gruesome weather week. You know the type of weather, the weather that people like to discuss in detail, the type of weather that makes you want to hibernate. Its lack of basic merits varies from bitter cold rain, to horizontal sleet, or winds that chill the very marrow of your bones. It can at times feel like an endurance task, and truth be known, I have found it hard to go walking this week. Yet under perseverance I have gone out, and by doing so, I have touched a certain kind of rawness. I feel that a new kind of understanding and respect has developed for the ‘elements’ of the outside world. 
I am endlessly amazed at what nature can actually endure. I marvel that even in the midst of bleakness a survival of life and beauty still persists. I for one, at this time would not want to be outside all day, yet every time I do venture, I am surprised. Walking is still my constant, it is my grounding….it is also my stable source of inspiration. Sodden grasses in there thousands lay like multicoloured threads swooping in one direction, as though a giant hairbrush has combed the grass for a special occasion. 
Perfect rectangles of ice lay in the distant hills as if a mathematician has placed them in strict order. Individual strands of grass droop with the weight of chandelier like crystals of ice. Leaves laden with water drip endlessly, creating a particular orchestra, whilst oozing mist disorientates the other senses. There are so many images, sounds, thoughts and emotions, that are engraved on my soul from the experience of being here…I don’t think I will ever forget this place. 
I like the fact that the birds appear to get louder when there is a heavy mist. The other day I stood outside and said out loud “just mist, dripping and bird song…now that’s a space to think in”. It seems that living on your own, there is a higher propensity for talking to one self. As a general rule I normally walk in silence, nonetheless I have noted more and more my vocal exclamations. 
Sometimes I say something out loud in hope that my memory will recall with more clarity later. Other times the vocalisation is bringing an idea into focus….a naming as such, as though saying it out loud will make the idea more ‘actual’, its no longer just an idea, it is now ‘out there’, it is the beginning of its physical journey. I actually find it important for my ideas to be stated out loud to the elements; maybe I’m checking my ideas out with nature? I did find myself unusually vocal one day and commented out loud “ Are you having a nice chat with yourself Jilly”….I was of course delighted (and amused) that I replied…”yes I am”. 
It has been a rather busy week of delivering enamel workshops, they have all been enjoyable, hard work and successful. I am rather proud of some of my new budding enamellers. 
I have also started a locally commissioned enamelled wall panel for a parent and toddler group. However I have felt ‘out of sorts’ this week; slightly frustrated, and slightly low. Ideas I have wanted to explore have been delayed due to other commitments. It’s that ol timing nugget. I’ve always thought that timing is a crucial event in this game of life, it affects us in so many ways, and it seems that sometimes circumstances and ‘timing’ can hinder that flow. In the children’s novel ‘Momo’ by Michael Ende, there are characters known as the ‘men in grey’ that steal time. 
I actually (and have always done) believe they exist! Creativity does not have an exact timing, unless there is a looming deadline of course! I think the dreary weather has also had its effect on me, and it doesn’t help that I’ve not slept at all well this week, which has rendered me slightly gloomy…and of course rather tired. 
Come early March I would have been here for five months, unbelievably a whole five months, which with ‘the men in grey’ at work, has of course, flown by. I am looking forward to having a break and intend to fly to Bristol next week. Part of me is slightly apprehensive about being in a city again, but I’m mainly excited about seeing my much-loved friends. I am also looking forward (already) to returning to my residency with a renewed sense of vigour. The next phase will be an important stage of bringing my ‘vocalised’ ideas into fruition. I will have to work hard to complete all my ideas, and I do relish that prospect. My break will of course mean that there will be a small break in the blog….but worry not, it will resume shortly. Once again thanks for all the support and my regular bloooogy readers, it really does make it all worthwhile…..many thanks…love, light and lentils. Week Twenty…..done!